So What About Sex?    (02/19/08)

You can take that question in two ways.  One way would be asking a genuine question, and the other is a sarcastic, not caring statement.  Our world is an increasingly sexual place, with more and more sex and nudity showing up on TV, in the movies, in magazines and on the Internet.  How do we, as Jesus followers, deal with it?  What does the Bible have to say about it?

Let’s start in Genesis 1.  God created man and woman and said this to them in Genesis 1:28, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth…”  Do you realize that this is the first recorded command that God gave to mankind?  What does it deal with?  Human reproduction.  This is accomplished through sexual intercourse.  In Genesis 2, we see that God tells Adam that it isn’t good for him to be alone.  He needs a partner.  One who will work alongside of him, and be similar, yet different.  Then God created Eve.  Verse 24 of Genesis 2 tells us that man will leave his father and mother and be joined together with his wife and become one flesh.  This is done through the consummating of the marriage through sexual intercourse.  It is very apparent to me that God created us as sexual beings.  It serves a purpose, but God also made it enjoyable.  God isn’t some great cosmic killjoy that doesn’t want us to enjoy life or the things of it.  But there have to be boundaries.

    As we move ahead in history, we find God giving the Ten Commandments in Exodus 20.  The 7th commandment is “You shall not commit adultery”.  What is adultery?  Adultery is voluntary sexual relations between a married person and somebody other than his or her spouse.  Okay, so that tells us that when you are married you must be faithful to the one to whom you are married to.  Let’s also look at the 10th commandment.  It says, “You shall not covet your neighbors house; you shall not covet your neighbors wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbors.”  What does covet mean?  To have strong desires to possess something that belongs to someone else.  That means the desires of our hearts need to be pure.  We should not lust or covet or desire anything or anyone that is not ours.  But both of those things seem to be talking to or about married people.  What about those who aren’t married?  Exodus 22:16 says, “If a man entices a virgin who is not betrothed (engaged), and lies with her, he shall surely pay the bride-price for her to be his wife.”  In other words, if two people sleep together, the Bible says they are supposed to get married.  Why?  Because back in Genesis 2 God talks of the two becoming one flesh.  This takes place through the act of sexual intercourse.

    1 Thessalonians 4:3 – 8 say this, “For this is the will of God, your sanctification (holiness): that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel (body) in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles (non-believers) who do not know God; that no one should take advantage of and defraud his brother in this matter, because the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also forewarned you and testified.  For God did not call us to uncleanness, but in holiness.  Therefore he who rejects this does not reject man, but God, who has also given us His Holy Spirit.”  This passage tell us to refrain from sexual immorality, which means sex outside of marriage with anyone other than your spouse.  This covers not only married people, but those not married as well.  How do I know that?  It tells us to possess, or take care of, our own body in holiness and honor.  This is how we deal with our own body.  This would include the way that we dress so that we are not enticing others to think of us in a sexual manner, but would also include what we do to our body (masturbation).  We will come back to this matter in a few moments.  It also says not to live in passion of lust.  This would deal with our thoughts and emotions.  We will come back to this in detail as well.  This passage goes on to say that we should not take advantage of or defraud anyone.  This deals with having sex outside of marriage.  How so?  Well thanks for asking.  When it talks about taking advantage, this would include rape, but not be limited to that.  It would also be talking about pressuring or enticing or providing an opportunity to have sex outside of marriage.  Either from the standpoint of hooking up or of a stead boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.  I go back again to the statement “not in passion of lust like the (non-believers).  In other words, controlling your thoughts and emotions to not include sexual thoughts or acts.  How can we do that, though?  2 Corinthians 10:5 says, “…casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ…”  In other words, we can obey God by keeping our thoughts clean and pure.  We’ll come back to our thoughts in just a moment.  The passage in 1 Thessalonians also talks of not defrauding someone.  What does that mean?  Well, to defraud is to steal.  How does that fit into this passage?  If you have sex with someone you are not married to before either of you are married, then you are defrauding or stealing from each person’s future spouse the enjoyment and privilege and right for them to be the first and only sexual partner with their spouse.  God intended it to be one man and one woman for life.  If we have sex before marriage, we are going against God, against His plan, and against His command.  This passage ends by reminding us that God called us to holiness, and that if anyone rejects this statement they are rejecting God!  That is pretty strong language, but it is there to show us that God is serious about our sexual purity.

    But what about masturbation and oral sex?  These are not mentioned in Scripture specifically, but if we continue to look at this passage in 1 Thessalonians, we see that again it talks about possessing our own body in honor and holiness, and not living in passion of lust.  This is written so that we understand God is talking about a total separation from the way that the world, or non-believers, live.  But these things don’t take our virginity, do they?  The word virgin or virginity is a medical term for someone who has not had sexual intercourse.  God calls us to be pure and to be holy, or set apart.  God says, “Be holy as I am holy.”  We’re supposed to be like God in the way we live – set apart, or different.  Doing these things, while maybe keeping one a “technical virgin” does not keep one pure.  Jesus said in Matthew 5:28, “I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”  Purity and holiness begin in the heart.  Your heart cannot be evil and unpure and still be a pure person.  What goes on in the heart and mind defines who you are. Job in Job 31:1 said, “I have made a covenant with my eyes; why then should I look upon a young woman?”  

    Proverbs 5 talks all about the dangers of sexual immorality.  I am not going to write it all out, but please take time to read all 23 verses.  It actually talks about sexual immorality as leading to death, and in verse 11 talks about your flesh and body being consumed.  I believe these things are talking about HIV, AIDS and other Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs).  When people decided to have sex with whomever they pleased and do it their way instead of doing it God’s way and waiting for their spouse when they got married, then this ugly phenomenon of STDs reared it’s ugly head.  God told us that is how it would be.  Sexual immorality would lead to death.  But we (all mankind) chose to ignore God.  If we had only obeyed God, we would not be faced with such a widespread epidemic like we have now.

    What if we have already gone past that point and had sex?  Good news, you can regain your purity before God.  You’ll never be able to regain your virginity, but you can be pure before God.  1 John 1:9 tells us that if we confess our sins, God is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.  God forgives and cleans us up.  The Bible also tells us that when God forgives us, He doesn’t remember our sins anymore.  They are buried on the bottom of the ocean floor.  They are as far from God as the East is from the West.  They are behind God’s back and He remembers them no more!  After you ask God for forgiveness, you can make a new covenant with God to remain pure until marriage.

    What if you have been molested or raped?  God understands that and it is not your fault!  God says very specific things about people who do that to others, and it is not okay for them to do that.  You may have had your virginity taken from you, but you don’t have sin to confess.  Ask God to help you to feel clean again, and make a covenant with God to remain pure until marriage.

    Regardless of your background, you can make a covenant with God to remain pure sexually until marriage, and then commit to remain pure during marriage.  God’s desire, according to 1 Thessalonians 4:3, is to abstain, or stay away from, sexual immorality.  It’s tough to do.  The world is constantly throwing it in our faces.  The only way to remain pure is by asking God for His help, and asking others to help keep you accountable.  It’s what God wants us to do, so we need to be pure.

    If you have any questions or comments, please email me at Brad@fbcnpr.com or talk to me about it.